Fabulous Atypical Ramblings of Nuclear Cheese

John --

I've been in President Obama's shoes before -- less than six months to
go before an election to let you finish what you started. It was tough
enough back then, but this election is going to be tougher.

We're facing a tidal wave of anonymous, unlimited spending. The other
side has pledged to throw more than 1 billion dollars into tearing down our
president.

It's unprecedented.

Fortunately, so is the grassroots organization you're building.

Pitch in what you can today to strengthen the campaign -- and you'll be
automatically entered to join me and President Obama in New York City,
with the campaign covering airfare and accommodations:

https://donate.barackobama.com/Presidents23

If our opponent succeeds, so much of what we've fought so hard for will
be rolled back. Health care reform -- which many presidents, including me, 
tried to pass and couldn't -- will be gone. Same goes for the opportunity for 
millions more Americans to afford to go to college, and a growing economy that 
works for middle-class families.

Our opponent is actually advertising a more extreme version of the policies that
got us in trouble in the first place: policies that will leave us with
more debt, weaker regulations on risky investments, and fewer jobs.

All of that's at stake between now and November, but here's why I'm
feeling good about our chances: I know people like you have the President's back.

And I can't wait to meet you. I hope you'll give it a shot:

https://donate.barackobama.com/Presidents23

Thanks, and good luck,

Bill Clinton

Dearest Bill, (Can I call you Bill?)

Clearly you and Mister President Obama have a vision that I think we can all agree on...This election year needs an Atypical edge to it, and who better than Mister (A)typical himself to put out to his mass following the support and vote of all who see this country, and the world in which it evolves around, with an atypical eye. And I agree, whoever this opponent of ours is needs to be taken out with calculated precision, for his wallet is unfairly balanced and one-sided (much like this administrations belief system in what it thinks we "the people" need.)

Personally, I tend to think that taking out loans that have high interest rates with money that doesn't exist in the first place would be the place to start "change", but who has any of that these days to phone up the white house and suggest it? I know I don't. Also, why regulate a risky investment? Why not do away with it entirely? Oh, that's right, because you and everyone who has ever pulled a veto have kickback investments in these regulatory policies. I'd rather you have just said, "Those pussies with blank rubber checks" but that is asking too much from someone who has lost all hope in the typical everyday voter, and turned to the "risky" investment voters who tend to think shit through before executing a vote.

Furthermore, as long as we continue to allow outsourcing to overseas companies who have far less debt and overhead to field our American companies bullshit policies to its customers, jobs will continue to remain scarce for a long time to come. I'd like to help you out with my donation, but frankly my veins are a bit dry and the needle points are sore as a motherfucker from all of the plasma I've had to sell off to buy milk for my family. And I am afraid I will not be able to make that trip to New York either, because A) I am terribly afraid of heights (specifically the part where the tin object hits a flimsy object in the sky that with any other man made contraption would simply turn to feathers in the air, like a duck or goose, and plummet to the ground) B) I have to work 5 days a week in order to help my boss earn his big bonus, which I also helped by accepting that my own bonus would go away so that he could have his, and taking time off right now would not be acceptable to upper management (or as you have called them, our opponents). C) I've just learned that I cannot make it that day, due to my free prostate exam I was able to accrue with all of my unlikely to never fly miles I have earned with the daily abuse my plastic money has piled up over the past few years. But, know this, I will be with you and Prez O'bama (that is how we in the low income housing refer to our man in office) OK, not me, but I know a few people who are now in low income housing, because they lost their houses during the market fallout.

Anyway, I do not expect this nimrod our opponents are throwing their funny money at to best the smooth talking brother, whose wife emails me more often than my own wife does, but I do wish you both all the best this year, and I look forward to the further demise of my country as we usher in the NWO in the next five years.

(sin)cerely,

(A)typical